How to travel with kids when one or more have special needs
Taking a vacation with kids is stressful enough, taking a vacation with your child with autism is a whole different experience!
The struggle of packing, repacking, loading and unloading, and getting from Point A to Point B is enough to send anyone into a tailspin. Trying to figure out how to travel with kids as you and your spouse plan your next family getaway is a lot for moms to handle. But, when you also have a child on the autism spectrum, things get a little more complicated. Vacationing with an autistic child requires some prep-work that other parents don’t have to consider. It can be frustrating as a mama to see other parents so casually take a weekend getaway with their crew when your child’s anxiety flies through the roof when you grocery shop on Sunday instead of Saturday… #truestory
My husband and I decided this summer we were going to travel from our landlocked state of Indiana to the beaches of South Carolina with 3 kids in tow. Our amazing son is on the autism spectrum and our oldest daughter has ADHD and sensory processing challenges stemming from her premature birth. Our newest addition being only 13 months old made for a VERY long car ride, but the experience we had as a family was worth all the carsick, screaming, repeated question asking we endured to make it happen.
My experience as a BCBA and Special Education teacher helped me to prepare my kids for the vacation as well as deal with issues in the moment. I’m here to share my professional momma advice to help you have the best vacation for child with autism. If you are traveling with autistic child this summer, stick around so you can prep for success by following my tips below (plus I’ll share a link to a freebie)!
- Desensitization
My first tip for traveling with autistic child deals with sensory processing issues. This is a big deal in our family since 2 out of 3 have diagnosed sensory issues and any 13 month old also comes with a heightened sensory radar. Desensitization in the ABA world refers to exposing a learner to stimuli that are likely to cause anxiety prior to a natural situation. Think of it as a parent-created learning opportunity! Think about the things your child is going to encounter on this trip that are going to be a challenge. Is he going to be expected to wear something he doesn’t normally like (sunglasses, hat, new shoes)? Is she going to be in contact with a stimuli that causes behaviors (sand getting stuck everywhere, bugs in wooded areas)?
Make a list of activities you will be doing on your vacation and then think about all the components of those activities. You are the expert on your child, so think about all the pieces that might cause or are known to cause issues. Then, think of ways you can expose your child to these things slowly and for increasing amounts of time. The point is not to make them upset or overwhelmed, but to get them to a point where they can either tolerate the stimulus for long enough to get through an activity, or to give them a way to tell you they are overwhelmed and need an out.
For us, it was going to the beach and all that it entailed. Sand is traditionally a trigger for the bigger kids and is completely unknown to my 13 month old. We created a small sandbox on our porch and made playing in it a fun reward! The kids got exposed to the sand slowly, we showed them how to use their new beach toys, and they were able to easily practice telling us they were done playing and head in to rinse off.
I also needed to work on sunglass wearing, shoe wearing, and hat wearing with the babe since she hadn’t worn any of those prior to the trip. She loves stroller rides so we took those in the evenings and I put her sunglasses on for longer lengths of time. This helped her associate positive experiences with wearing the glasses. For shoes, we worked on wearing them first while eating (sitting in her high chair, unable to take them off, distracted) and then practiced wearing them while walking around the house. She still doesn’t last very long in them but with her not walking independently yet we can cross that bridge later! With her hat, I wish I had a success story, but she manages to pull it off every time I put it on her sweet little head! I could have worked on it with a different hat or program, but honestly time got away from me and other priorities were put first – it is what it is!
- Social stories
Next up, my second tip deals with overcoming anxiety when traveling with autistic child and is closely related to desensitization through exposure. Social Stories are great ways to introduce situations and stimuli in a calm and safe manner. They are especially helpful if you can’t directly expose your child to something before they experience it in the moment. Maybe you are flying to your destination and your child has never been on an airplane before. You can use a social story to walk through components and ease your child’s anxious thoughts before they come up.
I’m going to assume that you have heard of or used Social Stories with your child before, but if not, please see this article in Autism Parenting Magazine for more information on what a Social Story is and how they are used.
Our family needed to be prepared for the long trip in the car and staying in a rented house, so our Social Story dealt with these issues.
I’ve made a copy of the social story we used and posted it for free on my Teachers Pay Teacher’s store HERE. You can download it and make it your own by using text boxes in PowerPoint to customize it. There’s even parts where you can upload your own images so your child feels prepared for the vacation you are taking!
I’m happy to report that talking through the scenario of taking a long car ride and staying at someone else’s house (thanks AirBnB!) were less anxiety producing for my two bigger kids. They were both looking forward to “giving themselves a tour” when we got to our “new rented house” – Social Stories absolutely help!
- Novel stimuli for reinforcement
Tip number 3 takes some preparation on the part of the parents but when used in the moment when traveling with kids can be a total game-changer. You know that feeling on Christmas morning when your kids just opened the one thing they’ve been asking for over and over and over again and you get *almost* 1 solid hour of uninterrupted quiet with your cup of coffee before they are “SOOoOoOOoO BORED”?! Well, it works when you are on vacation, too! Several weeks out, order a few car-friendly toys or games on your child’s level and stash them away before they see them. Once you are in the thick of traveling and they have played with all their usual go-to’s and are now asking how much longer on repeat, pull out the Mary Poppins bag-o-fun and introduce one new item at a time! As the novelty of each item wears off they will revert back to their usual, but if you’ve purchased 3 or more items the fun can continue every few hours of traveling.
This will also work with electronics if you take them away for a few days and add on some new apps the kids have been asking for or that you know they’ll like. Promising the device’s return during travel will give them something to look forward to and new apps are an added bonus!
For our trip, I purchased the following items:
These Wiki sticks were designed for traveling and come in a convenient case. I thought they would be fun for all 3 kids to play with and mold into fun figures to play scenarios with. But, the heat of the car was a real issue and made them extra sticky. My bigger kids preferred the other toys (and their devices) so this didn’t get much use – I will be repurposing them in my classroom for letter formation practice so stay tuned for that!
Brain Games – Sticker by Letter
These sticker-by-letter books turned out to be a huge hit! My kids love coloring projects and anything animals so these were a win-win! I bought the same book for both kids and they spent a good hour working through the pages in complete silence. I will definitely be buying more of these – it made for a car-friendly, mess free art project that I’m glad I decided to try!
The teacher in me couldn’t resist an opportunity to work on ELA skills while confined to a car. I ended up buying this booklet to try out with my kids. With the baby being either extra needy or sleeping in the car, we actually didn’t get to try these out. I will be doing them with the bigger kids or might use them as an end-of-year activity in my small groups next spring!
Travel Scavenger Hunt Card Game for Kids
This was something my kids ended up enjoying for short periods of time. We would play against each other and the driver (my husband) was the judge to determine if we really found what we said we found. My child with ADHD wasn’t able to attend to it for more than 10 minutes or so, but we got a few good rounds in before the end of our drive time!
Travel Tangram Puzzle – Magnetic
I tried this out with both kids, but neither were interested. The shapes were pretty complicated and the pieces were smaller than I expected. It wasn’t a hit for the car ride as I think it was a little too complex for the down-time of driving. Like the other items, I’ll be reusing this in my classroom because I think there’s other kids who will benefit from it!
This one was specific to traveling with babies – I love busy books and this one was great for my 1 year old! She loved the detachable stuffy that could get ready for bed through the pages of the book. We used this lots during the drive and some in the hotel room also. I would definitely order more busy books if we were planning another trip in the near future!
When we had our youngest, I decided we weren’t going to buy her toys at big box stores and instead reuse what we already had and subscribe to Lovevery playkits. The playkits have been such a big hit – we’ve loved every box since the first month – and I use the toys over and over again through multiple stages. If you are considering subscribing and don’t mind the cost, I definitely recommend them. When I broke down the cost by month (kits ship bi-monthly the first year and quarterly the second year) it was worth the investment (plus you can resell kits on different marketplace websites and recoup a lot of the cost). For this kit, I didn’t show the baby the wooden coin set when it arrived and she was so excited to play with it in the car! The box has 3 different lids and different objects fit into each type of lid – it was like having 3 toys in one! We played with this toy TONS in the car and hotel room.
- Visuals
I’m a solid believer that visuals are the key to lots of things, but especially a successful vacation with autistic child. My kids depend on visuals at our home, we use them for lots of different things around the house, and they are also essential to a classroom that runs effortlessly. On vacation, not only are they a familiar resource for kids to reference, but they also help with anxiety. Think about all the visuals we use and encounter on a daily basis, I know I couldn’t navigate the grocery store or the airport without their visual aids! Kids with autism on vacation NEED visuals to be successful! Don’t skip this step or worry that it’s a crutch, they will make your life easier and are worth the time and effort put into making them!
Visual supports might include the following (but should be based on your child’s needs and functioning level):
- A map (printed or on their device) to track how far you’ve gone and how much further you need to go
- A color visual countdown board to show how much time is left during travel (a rainbow board with the total number of hours left in travel on it, then remove one hour as you get closer)
- Visual of rules for traveling and while on vacation
- Token board where tokens are earned for following the rules and making it through a certain amount of time traveling – rewards for filling up the board might be stopping at a gas station for a special treat, or simply getting out the next new toy from your Mary Poppins bag!
- This one is pre-emptive but I used it with success for our trip and I would highly recommend you try it as well. I made a checklist for packing for my older kids where I explicitly told them what I needed them to pack. Your child might need a visual list but my example is below. The kids each had their own boxes to check and they did a great job setting out their own items saving me packing time!
- Meet basic needs
This one might seem too simplistic and silly but when you are vacationing with kids it’s important to remember that they have needs that when left unmet they can’t always communicate how or why they are upset but their behavior is indicating something is wrong. Everyone loves routines, but children with autism need their routines fulfilled in order to feel some form of control over their environment. When things feel out of control for them (ie: different than what they are used to), you are more likely to see high levels of difficult behaviors and low levels of compliance.
When your child takes a bath, do they rely on certain toys or objects to be there (bubbles, tub mat) or need to use a specific shampoo or soap? Take these with you! Does your child rely on a nightly routine to get them ready to sleep? Replicate the routine at your new location, even if it’s later than normal! Vacationing with autistic children doesn’t have to induce stress for your child, bringing a bit of comfort in the form of routines will help tremendously!
Another thought to consider is having your child’s favorite meals and snacks on hand. My son is an extremely selective eater and never knowing what restaurants were going to have we chose to pack his favorite instant mac and cheese and microwave him a bowl before we went to dinner. Then, when we were at the restaurant, I could usually order him a milkshake to keep him busy at the table while the rest of us ate. Vacation is not the time to fuss with picky eating habits and try to force them to make new food choices. Food selectivity typically needs an intensive ABA-based intervention designed with expert help. Vacationing with autistic child means giving in to those picky eating habits for a few days in order for the rest of the family to enjoy their time away.
We all have basic needs we need met, so here are a few more to consider based on what you know about your child:
- Do they tire easily from walking and need a wagon?
- Are they hot natured and would benefit from a handheld fan?
- Do they need a specific clothing item to help them feel comfortable?
- Will they need extra opportunities for movement while traveling – if so, have some chair yoga poses printed for them to flip through!
Are you in the middle of potty training? Did you know they make portable potty chairs for road trips? Several years ago we used one on a road trip with 2 potty training kids and it made it possible for us to pull over and use the potty virtually anywhere!
While our road trip to the beach was not perfect, it was largely a success because we planned ahead and knew what our kids needed. Although you can’t anticipate every need and scenario, setting our kids up for success by using these ideas made a big difference. Having a successful vacation with autistic child is possible, it just takes more work than your average child – although they would benefit from these tips and tricks as well!
I hope you downloaded the social story template I uploaded for free on my TPT store. If you don’t have an account, it’s free to create one and download the product, plus there are tons of other free resources you might enjoy using with your child! Here’s that link again: Vacation Social Story
Was there something else that helped your child be successful on your family vacation?
Let me know in the comments below, or, send me an email at innovatedbehavior@gmail.com
I love connecting and sharing new ideas!
Do you need tips on starting your own educational blog? I followed along with Kayse Morris (aka The CEO TeacherTM) on her Blogging Challenge to start this blog and create this post. Check her out at the link below!
7 Helpful Tips on How to Blog Like a Boss
Check out these other great educational bloggers who completed the Blogging Challenge with me:
Resource Kit for Special Education Teachers
ESY Activities for Kids with Cortical Visual Impairment